Tiny Ugly Germs (sing it, Yo Gabba Gabba)

Our family has been struck by the plague. As soon as one child finishes a course of antibiotics I'm dragging the other one into the pediatrician's office. I had been warned that this was what happens when you have a child in school. The constant sniffles and coughs and fevers never end. Apparently the only way to deal with it is to wait it out until their immune systems "catch up." (Nevermind that I keep getting sick too. Where's my immune system??)

Waiting is all well and good, but I deal with things differently. I complain make witty observations. Shocking, right? But then I realized that even I was getting tired of listening to all my whining. So in the interest of a challenge, I've decided to present the silver lining to the never-ending-parade-of-germs in my household:

1. Thanks to the great-stomach-bug-of-Christmas-2008 I have lost 15 lbs.

2. The other night Glitter Fairy Princess woke up vomiting and couldn't go back to sleep. After sitting up with her for an hour she turned to me, very seriously, and asked "Mommy, is we havin' a conversation?" Yes we were. It was uninterrupted by TV or Daddy or Little Man and it was wonderful.

3. Little Man is almost 11 months old and has the happiest and most easy-going personality I've ever seen in a baby. (Apologies to GFP, but "easy-going" was never an adjective I could use for her. "High-energy" and "high-spirited" were more her style.) While running fevers of almost 103 he still beamed his huge smile every time I'd pick him up. He'd even high-five before slumping his little head on my shoulder. It made the stress of caring for two sick children seem to melt.

4. I've had to cook a lot less since the kids have been too sick to leave the house 3 out of 7 days a week. (It makes grocery shopping kinda difficult. I'm pretty sure CPS would frown upon me leaving them home while they're napping.) Pizza helps build the immune system doesn't it?

5. GFP starts Pre-K (or "real school") next year. I've realized that I enjoy the freedom of keeping her home with me whenever I want. Modern Daddy might be right that I'm gonna miss her next year during the day. But I'd never admit that to him.

6. Being sick has meant that I have a bona-fide excuse for not working out. Which means reading blogs while drinking coffee can be done sans guilt.

7. I really like the kid's pediatrician, so at least there's that.

8. There's a McDonald's right beside said pediatrician's office. No matter how sick I may be feeling somehow I can't resist a Big Mac and fries. Mmmm.

9. Children's TV is MUCH better than it used to be. Putting on cartoons for the sick girl is actually enjoyable. (Yes, I've been known to gladly sit and watch The Backyardigans or Yo Gabba Gabba with her.) (And yes, I totally switch off of the shows that teach "life lessons." Sorry Franklin, but isn't that what I'm here for?)

10. I have a valid excuse for changing out of PJs and right into clean NEW PJs.

11. GFP has decided she's a "big girl" and has started calling me "Mom." But when she's not feeling good it's all "Mommy" and cuddles. I'll take the cuddles any way I can.

In fact, I'm going to snuggle now. In my PJs. Maybe we'll have a conversation, too.

Musical Monday #6

So, I'll admit it... I totally watched the Oscars last night just to see Rob Pattinson present. I was going to search up a video of him playing the guitar for Musical Monday, but I decided to instead look forward to New Moon. What does this have to do with Musical Monday? Well, I love A Fine Frenzy and her debut CD One Cell in the Sea. (Yup, it's just one chick. What's up with the band names for one person? Five For Fighting? One guy. Anyway...) My second favorite song on the CD is "Almost Lover" and I envision this song every time I reread New Moon. I really hope it makes it onto the soundtrack.

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Curious as to what my favorite song on the CD is? It's called "Rangers" and you can watch the video by clicking the song title. She's really amazing, I love her work. :) Enjoy!!

Totally judging a book by its cover...

I adore books. I have built in bookcases and boxes filled with them. I get tingly at the thought of wandering around a really nice bookstore. (I have been known to visit the library in the past but then you have to return the books.) You just can't beat the escape they provide, the whole "passport to other worlds" thing that everyone thought was tacky when it was on posters in middle school.

(To be fair, I doubt I would have thought this poster with Robert Pattinson on it was tacky.) (Oh, come on, you KNEW I'd have to find a way to mention Twilight in a post about books, right?)

Before I had children reading was only one of my avenues for escape, however. I could go see a movie. I could play a video game. I could watch TV. I could go see a friend and have coffee. I could call a friend (while drinking coffee.) (Coffee is a must.)

After children I was pretty much down to reading. Movies? Require a babysitter. Video games? Yes, fun. But Glitter Fairy Princess has been known to come to me with the Wii controller and say "Mommy, let's kill something." (Aside: While I feel this is a perfectly acceptable coping technique I'm not sure the other kids at preschool will feel the same.) TV? Have you noticed how much sex and violence is in the good stuff? And as for coffee and adult conversation, well you can forget it. I mean, you know you hate the women trying to ignore the fact that their kids are knocking over all the "suggested listening" CDs in Starbucks. You don't want me to be that woman, do you? Phone calls with friends go something like this now:
Me: "Hey, so how... wait a sec... Put that down! Stop teasing your brother! No! *sigh* I'll call you back, okay?"


But with books I'm home free! The kids can be beating themselves over the head with their Thomas the Tank Engine tool set and as long as I'm physically present I'm good. I can sit NEAR the chaos with my book and make sure no blood is drawn. Or that bandaids are quickly offered (along with a lollipop) if it is. Unlike television all of the cursing, violence, sex, drama, agnst, and anything else is being played in my head. Usually the content is hidden from my little princess, even by the cover. I like a nice cryptic cover. Pretty, intriguing, but not actually giving anything away about the book. I was even safe reading "The Lovely Bones," which is about the abduction and grisly death of a young girl. It's cover? A charm bracelet.

But then HBO had to go and screw it all up. I recently finished reading the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris and thanks to True Blood they redid the cover.
It went from relatively safe (this):




















To completely UNSAFE (this):

Thank you ohsomuch HBO. As if I didn't already hate movie/tv tie in book covers enough. Now you have to print something that'll give me my daughter nightmares. After inquiring as to what was wrong with "that lady's lips," GFP and I decided that it's really silly that she has on so much lipstick. And I'm considering making book covers for future reads. Just like middle school.

My Three Valentines

I was going to make an album for Modern Daddy for Valentine's Day. With Little Man pushing 11 months old, though, fun scrapbook things like "embellishments" and "paper" and "photographs" are in jeopardy of sticky fingers every step of the way. So, I decided to make this completely virtual version instead. Here is the evolution of my family. Here are my three valentines:



The song is "We Will Not Grow Old" by Lenka. You can buy it here on Amazon.com. :)

Musical Monday #5

I've been going through my iTunes recently and revisiting some of my old favorites. Fiona Apple is truly one of my go-to girl artists and I hope she does something new soon. Here's my favorite from "When The Pawn..."

Paper Bag by Fiona Apple

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Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch French Toast

Every time I make this breakfast I'm so impressed with myself happy that my family is happy that I normally tweet about it. Often this tweet is met with exclamations of how yummy it sounds, so I thought I'd get off my increasingly round (due to breakfasts like this) bum and post the recipe. It's essentially traditional french toast but with a coating of crushed Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch. (And it is equally yummy when made with traditional Cap'n Crunch.)



Ingredients:
White bread
2 eggs
1 1/2 cups of milk
2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp ground cinnamon
2 tsp sugar
2 cups Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch, crushed*
butter (for frying)

Directions:

1. Heat griddle to 300° or frying pan to medium to medium-low heat.
2. Combine eggs, milk, vanilla, cinnamon, and sugar in a large bowl.
3. Place crushed Cap'n Crunch in a shallow bowl or pan next to your batter mixture.
4. Dip bread in milk mixture and then coat each piece with Cap'n Crunch.
5. Place bread on buttered skillet or griddle, flip after about a minute.
6. Serve and enjoy!!
   

*The "crushing" part is Glitter Fairy Princess's favorite part. I put the cereal in a ziplock and attack it with my meat mallet. This is especially good for mornings when the children won't leave you alone to drink your coffee and your husband insists on having SportsCenter on so loud that the kids yell even louder to get your attention over the TV and ohmygod why won't everyone just give you 5 minutes of silence???? You know, those times.

**(I totally stole the idea from Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives, but I double-checked and the recipe isn't on the website, so hopefully no one at Food Network will take offense.)

***Also, in case you were wondering, I have fallen in love. It's okay, Modern Daddy knows all about it. In fact, he's very supportive of my illicit affair. He's the one who went to the store and bought me this:


I'm going to go have a second cup of coffee with this creamer right now. MMmmmmmm...

I'm Happy With the Illusion

Dear Person Who Invented Vanity Sizing:

Thank you for the boost my self-esteem has gotten recently from buying the same size jeans that I wore before I was married. It was really gratifying to ask the smiling Ann Taylor LOFT girl to bring me a SMALLER size instead of a LARGER one. I had a teeny tiny request, though. Could you please invent some vanity firming? Because since having two children I find that there seems to be more of me than before, despite with that tag claims.

Also, since you are obviously a force to be reckoned with (having changed the practice of the entire fashion industry) could you get rid of these advertisements on my Facebook sidebar?

They're kinda killing the "Oooh, I can't believe I fit into that" buzz. I spared you the one about stretch marks. The picture was too frightening, but it brings me back to my original request. Thanks!

xoxo,
Modern Mommy

Opinions are like, well, you know...

I live in a very liberal college town smack dab in the center of northern Florida. (For those of you who don't understand the irony, that's the geographic equivalent of a hash party being held in a preacher's garage.) What this means is that the college kids feel the need to stick it "to the man" by sticking bumper stickers all over their hybrid Hondas. In order to reciprocate the country boys from surrounding towns extol the virtues of 4-wheeling above their custom trailer hitches. Unfortuately GFP's preschool is a good 30 minute communte from my house, meaning that I spend two hours a day in traffic staring at the bumper in front of me and being forced to read their opinion.

I'm sure some of you are thinking "Wait, Leigh! What sort of an evil bitchy hypocrite are you? After all, these good people just bought bumper stickers, but you publish your opinions for everyone and their mothers (as long as they have internet access) to read!" To you I say this: So? What's your point?

Actually, I used to be one of the bumper-stickered. The 1996 Dodge Neon that I drove to college (I know, I was stylin') had several. They showcased what a witty person I was, and how fab my taste was. I know you're curious. I had the following stickers: "God is dead. - Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead. - God" "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." and a Tori Amos window decal. (No, I was not a philosphy major, exceptionally angry, or bisexual.) (Okay, so I WAS kinda angry...) As I've gotten older, though, I've realized the folly in announcing my views to the world via my vehicle. No matter if I'm inclined to agree with your statement or not, if you drive like a moron it kinda kills it for me. So, here's a friendly message to the cars I see every day:

Ms. "In Case of Rapture This Car Will Be Unmanned" - Did I miss something? Because your driving leads me to believe your car is unmanned already.

Mr. "WWJD" - I'm pretty sure Jesus would use his turn signal.

Ms. "Yes We Did!" - You "did" what? Fail your sobriety test? Stay in your own freakin' lane!

Mr./Ms. (not really sure... your haircut is kinda androgynous) "Hate is NOT a Family Value" - I agree, it's not, which is why my children shouldn't have to hear what I'm calling you for CUTTING ME OFF.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. So do us all a favor. If your driving sucks, save your fellow Greenpeace/G.R.I.T.S./Share the Road/Southern Baptist/Honor Student/Eat At Sachel's!/Virginia is for Lovers/Coexist/Democrat/Republican/Don't Blame Me I Voted for Nader!'s from being judged along with you. Or you could, you know, LEARN HOW TO DRIVE.

Seven things...

My friend Jenny over at Neurotic, Yet Classy tagged me to do a "7 Things" post a while back but I was plagued with indecision about what to write. Should I go the serious route and give you a glimpse deep into my soul? Should I go the light and funny route and tell you frivolous things like my seven favorite jokes? The pressure was awful. (Plus, to be honest, coming up with seven interesting things about me seems a tad daunting. That's why I write about my kids. THEY'RE the most interesting thing about me anyway.) So in the end I decided to split the difference. Here ya go:

1. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, which means that pretty much on any given day I just kinda want to puke at the thought of being awake. So in High School what did I do to cope with my (undiagnosed at the time) problem? I forced myself into the spotlight and took Drama classes. I did school plays. I sung in choir. Was I any good at any of it? Not really. I always played the "mom" roles (imagine.) But it forced me out of my shell and enriched my high school experience. Plus I got to make inside jokes without having any actual talent. Who says drama geeks aren't cool? ;)

Me as "Queen Nina" in The Worst High School Play Ever my senior year. Note that I'm playing a mom (hence the fake baby.) ;)

2. I almost didn't graduate from college because of the CLAS foreign language requirement. I capital-S-SUCK at memorization. I don't know why. I just DO. Unless it was written by one of my favorite artists and can be sung in my car, I won't remember it. I put off my Spanish classes until they were all I had left to take. I would come home at night, study, and possibly cry because I didn't understand the perfect present tense. Or something like that. I've blocked out the painful memories. Right before my verbal final I met with my (very nice) professor. He didn't understand how it could possibly be so difficult for me, but he could tell I was trying. I still have no idea if I actually passed my final but I got a "PASS" in my "PASS/FAIL" column and have my diploma hanging above this computer. I figure they change their mind now.

3. I am a total video game geek and I actually cried while playing Final Fantasy 7 when Aeris died. In fact, I'm still mad at Square about it and I STILL play video games. I'm waiting anxiously for a Final Fantasy game for the PS3. I may have to hire a nanny when one is released.

4. I have an AWFUL temper. When Modern Daddy and I were first married and we would fight I was ALL about the dramatics. I have since learned to control my temper (and the volume of my voice) but I have in the past been known to slam doors so hard that pictures fell off of the wall and broke the glass. During one very heated fight MD was watching TV instead of (in my mind) giving me the attention I deserved. Well, I'm the resident techie and I'm the one who set up our AV System. So, in a huff, I pulled ALL of the wires out of the back of the entertainment center and informed him that if he wanted to watch the damn TV so bad he'd have to put it back together himself. Then I left. (Slamming the door behind me, naturally.) Of course, when I returned and apologized (because I had been wrong in the first place) he was calmly reading a book and I had to spend a half hour figuring out where all the "audio in" and "video out" wires went.

5. I used to collect Sailor Moon paraphernalia. I had a Sailor Moon mood ring that I wore religiously during high school until it finally turned green and broke apart. (I know, shocking right? I can't believe it wasn't better made.) I still have a box in my closet filled with Sailor Moon trading cards, keychains, and figurines. I have since given my stuffed Sailor Moon doll to Glitter Fairy Princess, proving what a good mom I am.

6. On my 18th birthday I won tickets to see Sheryl Crow in a radio contest. It was the first day I was old enough to actually win anything, and it was a great concert. I still wear the tee I got to sleep in. Of course, I haven't won anything since...

7. When I was born the nurses told my Mom that I was the loudest baby in the nursery. They actually took a bottle nipple, stuffed it with cotton, and gave it to me to shut me up. Mom still has the nipple. I've never gotten any quieter.

Musical Monday #4

I *super big puffy heart* Ben Folds. He's so screwed up and angry (Song for the Dumped anyone?) but sweet and touching at the same time. No wonder he keeps getting chicks to marry him. ;) Anyway, I love his song "Gracie," which he wrote for his daughter (and always makes me think of mine.) It's one of my favorites, and I hope you like it too.

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