Lessons Learned

You may or may not have noticed that I've been absent from this blog for the last few months. (Don't feel bad if you didn't notice. Especially if you're my child reading this 20 years from now and can claim that you couldn't even read, let alone tell time, so how were you supposed to know?) Well, in case you are those two very important future readers, let me tell you a story.

Once there was a Modern Mommy who became a little obsessed with this series called Twilight and met some other Mommies who felt the same way. These Mommies were SO excited to share in things together that they spent tons of time talking to each other and having lots of fun. But this Modern Mommy realized that as much fun as she was having the people in her life deserved better from her. So, in a characteristically Modern Mommy move, she backed away from these friends in a rather abrupt manner. She expected that as her friends they'd understand her personality. They'd accept her decision and be happy for her children who needed more. But the fellow Mommies were not amused. At all.

So what did I learn? Among other things, that not all friendships work out the way we want them to. Does that mean that I regret the friendships or the time I spent on them? Of course not. I had fun. They enriched my life. I learned about myself. (I also re-learned what Modern Daddy has known for years: if you piss me off I'm going to react.) I learned my limits. This experience taught me just how much of myself I have to give. I've decided to give my heart to my children and husband first. Anyone else in my life needs to be happy with what's left over, and if that's not enough then I refuse to apologize for it.

After all, when I'm 90 my friends won't be deciding what retirement home to put me in.