Privacy, Modesty, and the Modern Mommy

privacy (prv-s) • noun - A state in which one is not observed or disturbed by others.
modesty (md-st) • noun - Reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior.
mommy (mm) • noun - A person who has no right to expect any of the above for herself.
Do you remember when you used to believe you had a right to privacy? Some of it faded during gym class in high school. More of it was stripped away while sharing a dorm room in college. First GYN appointment? Yup, there went a little more. And that time that your Grandmother-in-law came into the bathroom while you were in the shower, yanked open the shower door, and fiddled with the knob because you didn't know the "secret trick" to getting hot water in her guest shower? (True story.) Well, that surely took all of it you had left.

But then you decide to have kids and realize you are still clinging to some sense of modesty. At that first OB appointment you try to hold the little gown closed on your back so no one can see your underwear. But after 9 months of being poked, prodded, and felt-up (not in the good way) you finally get to the point where your nearest and dearest (along with several doctors and OB nurses) get to see your girly-bits stretched beyond recognition. Nurses and lactation consultants pinch around at your incredibly swollen upper-girly-bits, not caring who is in the room, and you realize you don't care either. Surely your sense of privacy is gone forever.

But the kids start to grow and slowly you feel less like a vessel created just for carrying little beings God sent just to repay you for all the irritating things you did to your parents. You start to feel like a person again. The type of person who deserves to be left alone when they pee (which requires locking the door if you have toddlers.) The type of person who deserves to take a shower alone. The type of woman who might want to wear the pretty panties that her husband bought for her at Victoria's Secret. Until your 3 year old walks in as you are changing and says "Mommy, why are there big holes in the back of your panties? Why would you want anyone to see your bum??" :::: sigh :::: That sound? That was the sound of my pretenses at modesty flying out the bathroom window.