Hobbies of a Little Man

My Little Man is a simple boy. He likes cars. He likes blocks. He likes cups. He likes putting things in things and then taking things out. (Like putting a car and a block in a cup.)
Innocent enough, right?

Except when the place things go in and out of is the toilet. And since Mommy has such a strong reaction to the whole toilet-toy-swimming scenario it just makes it THAT much more fun. I've started keeping a list of things that have taken the dunk. They include:

• Care Bear
• Wireless Mouse
• Dollhouse Refrigerator
• Socks
• Hat
• Markers
• Crayon
• Cups
• Legos
• Christmas Morning Barbie (who GFP swears is really a Hannah Montana doll. Even though she's never seen Hannah Montana in anything but commercials. Which would explain the confusion since Christmas Morning Barbie doesn't have a horsey face. At all.)
  

Now, I have a few things I wouldn't mind being destroyed by a trip on the porcelain bus. For example:

• My to-do list (which never seems to be written by me. Not that I'm bitter.)
• That really irritating talking Princess Ariel necklace that GFP loves.
• That really REALLY irritating "press the button" Spongebob book that Little Man loves. (Imagine Spongebob's laugh. Over and over and over and over again. "Hahahahahahahaha...")
• Modern Daddy's copy of The Negotiator. (Yes, it was a good movie. The first 3 times. But really, do we need to own it?)
  
• Every issue of Real Simple that I own and hold on to. Because it just makes me feel like I should simplify through organization. Which is not realistic. Or simple.

Thankfully he hasn't figured out how to flush. Yet. Something tells me that his big sister is just waiting on the right moment to teach him. Like when she starts getting homework.

Musical Monday #11

I have recently fallen head-over-heels in love with Regina Spektor.

First off, the chick can TOTALLY rock out the heavy eyeliner.
Secondly, I'm a sucker for girls who play the piano. (Tori much?)

Third, she recorded with Ben Folds for his song "You Don't Know Me."

And lastly, she writes songs like this:
"The Sword and the Pen" from the album Far.



But also writes songs like this:
"On the Radio" from the album Begin to Hope.


So while I obsessively listen to her last two albums on shuffle on my iTunes, you should go out and buy them so you can join me. Just don't get mad at me if you go from dancing around your kitchen table to wanting to crawl under it and cry. That's how you know it's good.

As always, you can purchase Regina Spektor's CDs from iTunes or Amazon.com. Or visit her website here: http://reginasplash.warnerreprise.com/

(I recommend the iTunes version for the bonus tracks, including the first song I featured today.)
(And no, I don't get anything if you purchase this CD. But I totally should.)

Taking Back the Living Room... One Corner at a Time.

I have a secret to share with you: I'm a really REALLY bad housekeeper. No, don't worry, you don't have to call Children and Family Services on me. I don't mean DIRTY, I mean CLUTTERY. You know, like the kids may grow up understanding to check the dryer for the shirt they want because Mommy hasn't had time to fold laundry for the past 4 days.

I set my stuff down in a pile and it finds another pile and then the happy pile couple have a gaggle of baby piles and next thing you know I can't see the counter. When you add a husband and two kids to the mix it's disastrous. As much as I may want to rant and rage about the messes that THEY create, it really seems hypocritical. However, last week I just couldn't take it anymore. It hit me: my problem is lack of proper storage! I mean, if I had a place to hide put all the toys I could make the living room seem like a place that adults would want to be in, right?

This was the living room:




So onto Amazon.com I hopped. (What, like I could go out to the store with both kids in tow and find anything? I'm lucky I make it out of Target with detergent and ziplocks without going insane. I'd end up coming home with two more laundry baskets saying "To hell with it!")

I was convinced that if I bought just the right toy chest suddenly my living room would look like this:


(Photo from HGTV.com)


Okay, so we all know THAT isn't happening. But I DID find a toy chest. Fortunately I had proper help. If you ever find yourself putting something together you really must find a helper who can twirl in a princess dress and point at things for you.



And at the end of the day what did I get?


( Yes, GFP did decide she needed a costume change. Yes, she might be the most dramatic 4 year old ever. And yes, there are still toys everywhere.)

It's a start, right?



*sigh*

Musical Monday #10

Today isn't just another Musical Monday. Today is also my 7th wedding anniversary. Unfortunately Modern Daddy isn't around to celebrate today as he is out of the country helping those less fortunate. (Can you believe he was selfish enough to leave me home alone with the kids on our ANNIVERSARY? You and I both know that he's really on a glamorous cruise and those anti-malaria meds were just for show.)

Seriously, though, his big heart is just one of the many things that made me fall in love with him. So I dedicate today's musical pick to him, to our love, and to the family we've built together. I truly am the luckiest.

The Luckiest by Ben Folds

As always, you can purchase this CD from iTunes or Amazon.com.
(Or I guess you could always drive to the store and buy one, but that's just so last year.)

The Best Laid (Hatched, Grown, Slaughtered, and Sold to Publix) Plans

I am not great at many things. Some of the things I suck at include (but are not limited to): cleaning, holding my tongue, math, whispering, rocket science, gardening, crossword puzzles, being on time... Okay, I'm gonna stop there. In retrospect it might not have been such a good idea to list my faults. I don't think my ego is supposed to take a hit on my own blog.

Moving on...

One thing I CAN do well is cook. I'm not talking about gourmet souffle-flambee-french-sounding-words-that-end-in-the-"A"-sound type things, but stick-to-your-ribs homestyle cooking. (I am also exceptionally good at using run-on sentences. I don't know if that's really a skill, but I need the boost so I'm claiming it.) You know: meatballs, mashed potatoes, steak, kabobs, french toast, etc. Utilizing this skill, last night I decided to make a roast chicken for dinner.

I like cooking roast chicken. It always makes me feel a little bit like a legitimate housewife. You know, instead of the slacker modern mom that I am who spends half of her time chasing her kids in her PJs and the other half of her time complaining about it. In her PJ's. So there I was (not in my PJs, I might add) boiling potatoes and measuring stuffing and basting my chicken which was roasting away in the oven. As if she understood my desire to live up to the Betty Crocker of 1955, Glitter Fairy Princess insisted that we get dressed up and have a "fancy-makeup-party" while we cooked.

After an hour and a half I figured it was probably done, so I tested the temperature. And wanted to cry. After all that time the stupid little 4-pound bird was only 130 degrees! Now, if you don't cook this won't mean much to you, but I was aiming for 180 degrees. It's a reasonable goal that should be easily attained after 90 minutes in a 350 degree oven. It's not rocket science. (Which we've established that I suck at.)

My family was hungry. I was hungry. The sides were getting cold. So we did what anyone else would do. We had a big dinner of carbs. That's right, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and salad. And the chicken? Well, it was FINALLY reading at 180 degrees 3 HOURS after I put it in the oven. I don't know what went wrong. The oven is working fine. The chicken was bought fresh, not frozen. It's like I bought a reject chicken that resisted basic principles of cooking. What I do know is that it'll be a while before I attempt to roast another chicken.

Not one to waste, though, I've decided to look on the bright side. Now I have a fully-cooked chicken to use in some OTHER recipe this week. Considering the amount of grief the damn thing gave me last night I'll enjoy picking it apart.

Tamales, anyone?

Lessons Learned

You may or may not have noticed that I've been absent from this blog for the last few months. (Don't feel bad if you didn't notice. Especially if you're my child reading this 20 years from now and can claim that you couldn't even read, let alone tell time, so how were you supposed to know?) Well, in case you are those two very important future readers, let me tell you a story.

Once there was a Modern Mommy who became a little obsessed with this series called Twilight and met some other Mommies who felt the same way. These Mommies were SO excited to share in things together that they spent tons of time talking to each other and having lots of fun. But this Modern Mommy realized that as much fun as she was having the people in her life deserved better from her. So, in a characteristically Modern Mommy move, she backed away from these friends in a rather abrupt manner. She expected that as her friends they'd understand her personality. They'd accept her decision and be happy for her children who needed more. But the fellow Mommies were not amused. At all.

So what did I learn? Among other things, that not all friendships work out the way we want them to. Does that mean that I regret the friendships or the time I spent on them? Of course not. I had fun. They enriched my life. I learned about myself. (I also re-learned what Modern Daddy has known for years: if you piss me off I'm going to react.) I learned my limits. This experience taught me just how much of myself I have to give. I've decided to give my heart to my children and husband first. Anyone else in my life needs to be happy with what's left over, and if that's not enough then I refuse to apologize for it.

After all, when I'm 90 my friends won't be deciding what retirement home to put me in.

Yo Gabba Gabba Rocks!

I've mentioned before how much I adore the Nick Jr. show "Yo Gabba Gabba." What's not to love about a show that teaches life lessons like "Don't Bite Your Friends!" (Especially since that's a lesson that serves you well into adulthood.) Not to mention that they have the coolest guests (musical or otherwise.) So when I was contacted to do a review and giveaway for the new DVD "Yo Gabba Gabba: New Friends!" I was all over it!

In the title episode Jack Black (how can you not ADORE him?) is stranded in Gabbaland because his mini-bike runs out of gas. At first he is afraid to be alone in a new place but he quickly makes friends and even teaches a Dancey Dance called the "Disco Roll." I could go on and on about how friendly the characters are or how great it this show is because it inspires little kids to get up and dance and move around. Instead I figured I'd let Glitter Fairy Princess tell you what SHE thought about the episode:

Me: What as your favorite part of this episode?
GFP: When [Jack] made new friends and when he was scared.
Me: Why did you like it when he was scared?
GFP: 'Cause he found out he had new friends. I liked his words, his song.
Me: Do you like to dance along?
GFP: Yes! Let me show you!

Me: Is the show funny?
GFP: Yes!
Me: What part do you think is funny?
GFP: The talking trees and all those things that's not real.
Me: Who is your favorite character?
GFP: Foofa and Toodee. They're girls. Can we watch it again?

There you go, guys! GFP's seal of approval for the Yo Gabba Gabba "New Friends!" DVD. Do you want your own copy? I know you do. How can you resist DJ Lance?? So leave me a comment and on Monday April 6th I'll pull a random number. The winner will get a copy too! But remember to share. The Yo Gabba Gabba peeps are big on sharing. ;)

Musical Monday #9

I'm trying something new today: I'm trying to be calm.
If I were to ever get a tattoo, I've said I want it to be the Prayer of St. Francis. Which would be an incredibly long and painful tattoo, which is why I'll never get a tattoo. But that's not the point. The point is that whenever I feel overwhelmed I have HAVE to listen to the Prayer of St Francis as sung by Sarah McLachlan. It is amazingly beautiful, peaceful, and makes me want to be a better person. (Author's note: It hasn't actually made me a better person. I know music is powerful, but I think I have to do that one on my own.)



The song is found on her album "Rarities, B-Sides, and Other Stuff 2" and can be downloaded from Amazon.com.

What I need right now

At this moment, I need:
a 3rd cup of coffee
a manicure
a nap
a hug
to plan the kids birthday parties
to lose 15 lbs
to stop swearing in front of the kids
to get GFP's last piece of paperwork filled out for Pre-K
to organize my office
to be a better housekeeper
to see more of my husband
to see less of my daughter after 12 a.m.
to stop dwelling
to stop bitching
to stop spending (okay, to REDUCE my spending)
to get the eff out of the house and workout instead of making excuses
to go buy the Twilight DVD (I said REDUCE people, REDUCE)
AND
to blog more. I feel better already. :)

Musical Monday #8

Hello! First things first, NO ONE in my family is currently sick. I know, dropping an F-bomb on this blog last Monday seems to have done the trick. ;) Anyway, I have a thing for female artists who wear funky glasses. I think it goes back to my adoration of Lisa Loeb in the 90s. So, here's Ingrid Michaelson, who rocks the funky specs like no other ukulele-playing-singer-songwriter out there today:

Ingrid Michaelson, "Be OK"


As always, if you like the song, you can download it at Amazon.com and a portion of the proceeds go to "Stand Up To Cancer."

P.S. To all of you who visit this blog (and, um, I guess if you don't visit then you wouldn't be reading this...): I'm sorry I'm not returning the favor recently. I opened my reader this morning and had almost 500 posts to read. So, it may be a while, but I PROMISE I'll get to you and I won't just click "Mark All As Read." Because that would be cheating. ;)